Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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