so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
