Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
