Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
