just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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