I have demons in me.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
