oh god the rape fog is back!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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