Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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