Where did you get a picture of my penis
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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