Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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