I swear she didn't look like that last week.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
