i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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