If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
