This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize