i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
