Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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