Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
