best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
