I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
