Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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