i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize