Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
