I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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