you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
