sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
