I cannot find my penis.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
