I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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