You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
