How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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