Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
