i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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