I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
