If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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