Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
