I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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