hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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