take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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