I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
