If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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