God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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