Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You ate ashes out of my bong
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
