Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
