New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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