You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
