I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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