she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
