thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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