It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
