Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
