I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
