What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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