i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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