I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i have herpe
just one?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize