booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
A+ Viking dick
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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