There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
