my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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