I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
