I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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