I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
