This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
