wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
