your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
