Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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