it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
