Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I looked at my own cervix.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
