someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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