he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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