I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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